I can’t sleep because I’m angry. I don’t know at who exactly. I’m trying real hard not to whine. Partially, I’m mad because Addair Kentucky hardly sleeps. Don’t give me advice about this, sleep advice makes me angry. I checked out a book on tape, Bringing Up Bebe, to listen to on our trek to [...] Continue Reading »
and he awakes before i finish posting this
5an address to my trapezius muscles
4[ from a. addair who is listening to Joey English (Joey English) ] Lately, anxiety has gotten the best of me. I feel like I’m carrying a halo of tension around my neck and a heavy cape of doubt on my shoulders. I can understand why this is so. We are, after all, in a season [...] Continue Reading »
anxiety (or why some pictures turn out bad)
0[ from a. addair who is listening to Tom Waits (Closing Time) ] when i think i’m okay or that i’d like a distraction thosemolesonmybackusetobesmallerdidtheynot but it scrapes in my stomach and drags at my face ineedtodoasisaidiwoulddoandsendthosephotostojosh and i try to smile at the camera but thedamnfloorsinourhouseletinsuchadraft it [...] Continue Reading »
calamity is a possibility, but i think i’ll take the risk
0[ from a. addair who is listening to Zee Avi (Zee Avi) ] In moments of insecurity I find that I’m fearful of both success and failure; afraid that I’ll disappoint if given a chance and afraid that I’ll never get a chance. How silly. In the words of Doug Banister, I’m deciding not to [...] Continue Reading »
starving artist or idealistic bum?
0[ from a. addair who is listening to Michael Hurley (Have Moicy) ] “Love is first. Love comes before knowledge and even before acts of the will.” -F. Gonzalez-Crussi Finished a painting today. First experiments of painting with a pallet knife; it reminded me of making mud-cakes. As I worked on this one I thought [...] Continue Reading »
hugging the rest of 2009
2(from addair) Update from Western Kentucky. Feeling incredibly overwhelmed and the anxiety seems to be seeping out of my right eye. I woke up on Christmas morning with a bulging swollen eyelid. Merry infectious Christmas. I try not to treat symptoms. I’d rather let them lead me to the source of trouble. Thank you, ugly [...] Continue Reading »