It’s Friday. Even if that means nothing to your schedule, pretend it does. Put it in a solid, quit, and leave it. Tonight, do something you don’t have time to do. Ignore the messy house. Do something for old time’ sake. Get a little reckless (and by that I mean splurge, not go home with someone at a bar).
I think I’m going to have a long game of Settlers of Catan. Reckless? Yes. With some good men including Daniel Aisenbrey who just returned from an 8000 mile solo road trip around the US while reading Steinbeck, shooting vintage film, and buying a pass to all National Parks.
But lets go back to slowing down for a second. How does one just slow down and not drop the ball? Look at your health, a good indicator. Do you sleep? Do you have a vice? Or look at your attitude. Are you unsatisfied all the time and disappointed by people? Do you like yourself? Do you feel like you always get an unfair deal?
Three weeks ago I was working an extremely physical 70 hours a week, drinking a thermos of coffee a day with about three Coke Zeros in the afternoon, going to sleep covered in dried paint with my work clothes by the bed ready to slip back on and meet the guys outside at 6. I wasn’t a husband, a dad, a songwriter, or anything I wanted to be. I had good intentions. When you squeeze life that hard you’ll never get out all you’re looking for.
So in some regard, I’m glad I got laid on my back for awhile to think about things. I even get a glorious story and everybody thinks I’m tough. The truth is that I’m not so tough, I’m scared a lot. I’m scared that I’m not enough. And what I’m learning is that I’m not enough by myself. I have my faith, family and a lot of friends. That is enough.
”I am learning to look.” ~Emily Janowick